did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
