i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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