Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
