dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
