she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
