it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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