So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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