Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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