Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
