I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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