She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
