Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
