ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
