Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
