I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
