Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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