i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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