hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
