if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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