Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
