I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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