your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
