Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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