I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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