went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
