Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Randomize
