I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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