Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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