i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
