I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
