Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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