the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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