Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
