she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
