i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
