weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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