So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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