tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
