he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
