yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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