i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
