That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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