The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
