Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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