So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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