We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
