So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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