how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
