4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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