lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
