I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
