Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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